A PORTKEY CAN BE ANY SEEMINGLY HARMLESS OBJECT. LIKE, A FOOTBALL... OR A DOLPHIN.

THANKS, SCHOOL.

THANKS.

I LOVE HAVING A TWO DAY WEEK IN WHICH WE LEARN ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.

LOVE IT.

PLEASE HAVE THESE TWO DAY WEEKS IN WHICH WE LEARN ABSOLUTELY NOTHING MORE OFTEN.

I'D REALLY APPRECIATE IT.

ESPECIALLY ON THE DAYS WHERE ALL THE OTHER SCHOOL DISTRICTS DO NOT HAVE SCHOOL.

IT'S TOTALLY NOT A WASTE OF MY PARENTS TAXES.

have these more often.

i really appreciate your consideration.

do not make your present situation worse.

take a melancholy tune and improve its quality.

be sure to allow the female into your vascular system.

therefore, you can proceed to make your condition better.

the time of year that TOTALLY isn't stressful and/or annoying.

happy pie day.

unfortunately, we have eaten all of our pie. therefore, it renders me unable to celebrate correctly.

but it is also eat a red apple day!

but also, unfortunately, nobody actually likes red apples. so therefore, we never buy them, rendering me unable to celebrate correctly.

BUT! tomorrow is national fritters day....

oh.

bummer, dude.

that i need to get out of this black hole called suburban life.

because you know what? nothing ever happens here.

everybody gets sucked in and eventually we just can't get out, and man. it's so repetitive and monotonous.

therefore, it is my new life goal to get out of the suburbs.

eventualllllllllllllly.